


Cease and Desist

by BenevolentErrancy



Series: Blood Magic, Slavery, and a Fruit Basket [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Humor, post-Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 11:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5331851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenevolentErrancy/pseuds/BenevolentErrancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris receives a distressing letter sent to him from the Imperium and his friends help him come to terms with the news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cease and Desist

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for a post on the kink meme:
> 
> After killing Danarius, Fenris chops off his head and sends it to the Magisterium, as a 'this happens to magisters who come after me' warning. What he doesn't know is that there's an ancient Tevinter law/custom, according to which killing a magister and presenting their head to the Magisterium means the killer wants to take over the dead magister's seat in the Magisterium. The other magisters decide to go with it, maybe because they hated Danarius, maybe because they are bound by magic or there will be some consequences for them. Either way, the send Fenris an official letter declaring his new status, some welcome gifts, a few slaves to get him started, a beginner's guide to blood magic... 
> 
> \+ if a!a wants to include romance for Fenris, my preferences are Anders/Fenris or m!Hawke/Fenris  
> \+ please no Anders bashing?  
> \+ please no angst

The Hanged Man was in an uproar when Hawke arrived.

Which wasn't an unusual state for the Hanged Man, but what was unusual was the fact that it was a) just past noon and thus largely empty, b) the uproar was, in fact, coming from only one person, and c) that person was Anders, who was sitting at a table between Varric and Fenris, howling with laughter.

Hawke felt the need to emphasize this. _Howling_. When Varric later writes about this Hawke will lean over his shoulder and underline the word three times. Anders was doubled over, arms wrapped around his stomach, as he laughed so hard Hawke was a little surprised he could still find time to breathe. Fenris, meanwhile, sat with a sheet of paper in his hands which he was staring at with a look of such offense and horror that it was actually something of a relief that there wasn't any glowing involved just yet.

“So,” said Hawke, inching carefully around Anders (who was now clinging to the table, trying to catch his breath) to come sit next to Varric, who seemed like the safest option at the moment, “what did I miss?”

At that Anders' head shot up so eagerly it looked like he might fall off his chair for a moment. As soon as his mouth was open to explain though he took one, side-long look at Fenris and just crumpled back into himself as dissolved back into laughter. The look Fenris sent Anders was nothing short of murderous.

“Do I want to know?” Hawke asked, looking between the three, hoping that some sort of answer would be forthcoming.

Varric just shrugged. “They were like this when I got here. I know _I_  can't wait.”

“It's beautiful,” wheezed Anders from where his head was resting against the tabletop. “It's the most wonderful thing I've– _ow!_ ” Fenris had taken the opportunity to slam his heel against the mage's toes – and considering Fenris feet were bare while Anders wore his usual, heavy boots it had to say something for the annoyance the elf was feeling.

“I got _this_ –” Fenris waved the sheet of paper like it had personally insulted him. “–by post today.”

“You can get mail up in that hovel of yours?” asked Varric.

“Who's sending you mail?” followed Hawke, because for the most part he figured he was the only one that had to suffer the continuous stream of correspondence and it was a woe he was more than happy to share.

Fenris just growled and shoved the paper towards Hawke, which he eagerly took and held out so he and Varric could read it. They were sorely disappointed.

“Is this Tevene?” asked Varric. “Can't read a damn word of it.”

“Nor can I,” admitted Fenris. While his reading had improved much with the lessons between himself and Hawke, he was ultimately learning to read Trade. While he could sound out some of the words, Tevene had a largely different alphabet and it meant most of the long letter had been indecipherable to him. It didn't help, Hawke was sure, that the handwriting wasn't the neat, methodical script of a book but instead had more flourishes and posturing than an Orlesian gown.  It did, at least, look very important.

“That's why he came to get me,” said Anders, valiantly trying to get a hold of himself again. “Thank Andraste's sweet nipple rings he did I wouldn't trade seeing that face for anything in Thedas, oh Maker...”

“I _actually_  came for Varric,” Fenris cut in, glowering again at Anders. “I thought if anyone could figure out how to have it read, it would be him. I had the misfortune of coming across the mage instead.”

“Hey, I helped, didn't I?” Anders said. To Hawke he added, “When you're studying more advanced magic in the Circle you often need to learn that basics of Tevene since a lot of formulas and theories are originally written in it, because Maker knows no one here actually believes in, you know, _understanding magic_ , not when desperately trying to choke it out and beat it down with a stick works _so much better_ and– Right, well I couldn't exactly have a conversation in it but I know more or less how to pronounce the words.”

“So Anders butchered it in his Ferelden accent and I had the pleasure of trying to parse out what in the Void he was trying to say,” grumbled Fenris.

“It wasn't _easy_ ,” said Anders. “It's all legalese, you think they're teaching Southern mages how to navigate a Magisterium courtroom? I can maybe say 'fire' if pressed.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait. _Legal_?” said Varric, frowning. “Fenris got some sort of legal correspondence from _Tevinter_? Shit.” He turned on Hawke. “I _told_  you and Rivaini not to encourage him into mailing them that fucking head. What do they want now? Please tell me it's not some sort of formal 'cease and desist being a free elf and mutilating our magisters' letter. I've barely recovered from the last angry magister we had here, I don't think I could handle seeing anymore beards that evil for at least a few more months.”

“Plus I think Corff might permanently ban from the Hanged Man if we repeated that stunt,” offered Hawke.

Anders stared at Hawke and Varric for a moment, clearly fighting to hold back yet more laughter, but failed miserable when Fenris, with complete seriousness, said “It's _worse_ _._ ”

“I'm sorry, _worse_  than an army of angry magisters pounding at our door?”

“Let's just say Fenris isn't the sort of person who's very well-informed on the Tevinter legal code or customs,” said Anders, smirking. “He is, however, exactly the sort of person who thinks sending the collective Magisterium his late master's head in a box is a good idea.” 

“Fenris?” asked Hawke, a little desperately. He was not a man made to handle suspense well.

Fenris, meanwhile, looked like he was going through some sort of internal agony. It genuinely looked painful. He had his head in his hands and when Hawke addressed him he made a miserable noise at the back of his throat. Finally, _finally_ , he spoke.

“They've made me a magister.”

Hawke tried to find the necessary sympathy for what was clearly an agonizing, emotional situation for Fenris. Varric was failing miserably next to him but Hawke fought nobly on.

“They _sent me a fruit basket_ _._ ”

No, he couldn't do it, it was asking too much, you couldn't expect him to see the look of pure elation on Anders' face and hear Fenris spit the words _fruit basket_  like they were curse words and _not_  expect him to lose it. As it was the only thing that kept him from falling out of his chair was a desperate hand clamped around Varric's shoulder. Fenris made a pained noise followed by the sound of what was likely his head thumping against the table.

Ah, sorry. _Magister_  Fenris made a pained noise and thumped his head against the table.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a seriously short fill because I needed to flex my non-essay-related writing muscles again and take a dip into the Dragon Age fandom. ~~I'm vaguely tempted to make an actual story out of this but with finals and shit I definitely don't have time to start some heavy fic about political intrigue right now~~  
>  Never mind, I am weak, I have at least a few more ideas for Magister Fenris so I'll probably post them at some point or another


End file.
